Super Bowl Pick

Today is the day...three hours away...this is how it's going down (BTW, no live blog...I'm already too drunk)...

I arrive at unknown person's Super Bowl party. I smile, and immediately look around to see what kind, and how many, of "B's" are in attendance. B's are anything that start with B that can get a party started: Beer, Blunts, Broads, Bratwurst, Bitches, Ballons (with helium in 'em only), Big Booty Bitches, Big Booty Broads, and Big Booty Broats Bringing Me Beer, Blunts, and Bratwurst (and somewhere we will work Blumpkin into the equation). So I check that out, mind my P's and Q's, and consume more alcohol. I then come up with a plan on what food I am going to eat. Do I eat dairy products, that will be sure to close the bathroom off for 45 minutes, or wait until the second half when people know me a bit better? Is the couch conducive to muffling the sound of a fart, or should I care? Is Troy Aikman going to cause me to throw a beer at the TV? Am I going to use the words "Brandon Jacobs", "hole", "pigskin", "bitch", "anal", and "black" in the same sentence twice (one yelling at the TV, and once talking to a broad)? Probably. What I don't know is the outcome...I think it's going to be close. My prediction...

Giants win the coin flip, and tell Brandon Jacobs to exploit the holes in the Pats 'D and then spike the pigskin so hard off of the playclock that the playclock thinks it's getting anal from a black guy. The game is going to be a game where the Patriots defense will give the Giants something, and the Giants will take it. Tom Brady will get sacked a couple of times, but the Giants D is a great bend, but don't break, defense. The more I write this paragraph, the more I realize what everybody is scared to say...the Giants are bigger, faster, and don't give a fuck... That's my final analysis...Giants 44 Pats 24. Giants win Sunday, Johan press conference Monday, Championship Parade Tuesday, Liver Failure Wednesday. Oh, yeah...no drinking and driving! Make sure you have a designated decoy, if you do drive. GO BIG BLUE!!!!!

Sooooper Bowl Update

Tom Brady was seen in The Village yesterday going to his girlfriend’s apartment, Gisele Bundchen (or as I will be calling her the next two weeks, Jizz El Munchin). He had a walking cast on his right foot, and the media is wondering if he’s going to be ready for Super Bowl XLII. Of course he is! The real story is how he probably injured his foot. I think he injured himself trying to mimic Laurence Tynes game winning, 47 yard field goal, in his sleep. In a related story, Jizz El Munchin has a loose jaw. Or, maybe Randy Moss and Tom Brady were walking down the street, and Randy Moss saw his girlfriend so he grabbed the closest thing possible to hit her, which was Tom Brady’s right foot. In a related story, Jizz El Munchin has a loose jaw and Randy Moss is being questioned.

Watch the video, courtesy of TMZ.com. The funny thing is that Jizz El Munchin rushes into her house with a dog in her hand, and Tom follows a couple seconds later, with flowers. I hope Mike Vick is watching. If you’re going to electrocute dogs, at least bring flowers. It would be great if somebody could past Mike Vick’s head on Brady, and put some jumper cables in his hands.