Re: Reggie Do It! (Six Degrees of Fat Asses)

Another inter-office reply from Laredo Slider, to the Double B

Hey, Double B, a couple of points...

1.) If Reggie wants to call it a career, then he should marry Kim Kardashian. But he needs to subscribe to the Kobe Rules. Kobe knows not to get near Brandy, or any of her relatives. He went to prom with her (probably hit it…while she was asleep), and called it quits. That wasn’t a family he wanted to get involved with. He didn't want to get associated with fat asses. So what am I trying to get at? What I like to call the “Six Degrees of Fat Asses”:

Ray J bangs Kim Kardashian (fat ass)

Ray J is Brandy’s brother

Brandy marries Quentin Richardson (fat ass)

Quentin Richardson plays on the New York Knicks alongside Eddy Curry (fat ass)

Eddy Curry plays alongside Zach Randolph (fat ass)

Zach Randolph is the inspiration for a sandwich I created. It’s a bacon, pork chop, mayo, butter, fried chicken sandwich that I call the “Fat Ass” (it’s great with a Diet Coke)

2.) I like the reality show idea, but I don't think Kim Kardashian will do it. Not with Matt Leinart. She's into has-been African-Americans, or about-to-be has been Negroes. Let's line up a stellar list of those and shoot a reality series/porn series. Who would be good? Let's see....

Gary Coleman from Different Strokes...

How about M.C. Hammer ("Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em" would be the name of the show)?


What about a "Different World" stars Kadeem Harrison (Dwyane Wayne), and Sinbad? They can trade off, and we can somehow fit Theo Huxstable into the mix...


Or, let's have a show called "Keeping up With Kim Kardashian's Ass, South of the I-10"...I'm pretty sure we can get Deebo from Friday...

I'm pretty sure we can get Kim to fuck non-Blacks...She might be into Mexicans, Costa Ricans, or my favorite illegal alien...ALF!!!

We could make a killing in plush toys, and let's face it, he's nothing but a puppet...We can sell tickets to allow people to stick their fingers in it as he F's her, and she would never know. Alf can also open the door to another phenomenon: Foreign Objects. Do me a favor, and forward this e-mail to Disney.

TRIVIA

Who is the only person to put his balls in the mouth of Brandy and Quentin Richardson?

Kobe Bryant (Brandy, in 1996 after prom, and Quentin Richardson every year when the Knicks play the Lakers)

Holiday Jewish Jeers - State of da Bulls

What's a shitty week, in the life of a Chicago sports fan, without the witty commentary of The Double B? Last week, the Bulls bottomed out and completed one of the most disappointing years for Chicago sports. ***WARNING*** The Double B is Jewish. Therefore he doesn't believe in Christmas, Holiday Cheer, or Goodwill to All Men!!! This article will be critical about the state of the Chicago Bulls.

Laredo Slider has been pressuring me for a post the past two weeks. First off, I was taking my time of responding because Mr. Slider is a douche bag. Two weeks ago I was on my way to the Bulls/Sonics game. Before I left the office the betting line had the Bulls favored by 8 points. I wanted to bet to be somewhat entertained having to sit through a Bulls game. I called Laredo for his expert gambling advice. After screening his incoming calls, he called me back two minutes later. However, his advice was shitty at best. He stated the Bulls would probably blow it, told me to walk away from the bet, and then shouted derogatory facts about my religion. Needless to say the game was a complete blow out by the 1^st quarter and all I have to show for it is a free Big Mac (which I'm not complaining about) and more hatred towards my only black friend. Because of Slider I'm 25 dollars poorer.

I'm a little stuck of what to do now. Do I give him a second chance and redeem his NBA skills? Or should I start calling my white friends that don't watch the NBA till playoffs? I think the only way to settle this is a bet. I bet the Bulls will take the series from the Knicks on January 8 ^th. I attended the last Bulls/Knicks game and it was ugly, uglier than Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph fighting over a dropped biscuit. Luckily the Bulls won that game and scored over 100 points so I left with another free Big Mac (it's a delicious burger). The game is at the United Center, so I'll give Laredo Slider three points. The battle for the 8^th seed is on the line. Also, I'll bet the Knicks miss playoffs. That's two bets Slider! We can wager money or having to root for each other's teams. I will personally send you a Kirk Henrich jersey (three sizes too small) for you to show off. Also, you'll have to write into the Chicago Tribune blog area, Kirk's website, and submit an application, with photo, to be a Chicago Bull's Matador. Let me know your terms Slider.

Finally, I'd like to wish Skiles the best. He did a great job bringing our team back to respectability. Now I can't wait for our team to crumble and completely fall apart. John Paxson has made some decent moves, but lately needs to be bitch slapped by Kobe's penis. No Kobe, No Pau, and still four years later - no big man. Paxson made one three pointer and now he knows how to be a GM? I doubt Rick Carlisle will turn our team around, nor any other coach for that reason. What would turn our team around would be a guy that likes fat sluts from Colorado named Kobe.

-The Double B