Fill in the blanks: Laredo's L___ Pipe _ock

Today is a huge, Laredo sports day. There are bowl games in college football (two super-underrated games: one (1) UConn vs. Wake; two great schools with good programs, and two, Penn State vs. Texas A&M a.k.a. Shit talk University in the Casket Bowl). There is college basketball today (ESPN2 has been hooking it up early this year. Last week, there were 3 really good games on tha deuce. This week may be the same with Arizona vs. Memphis tonight. There will be 6-10 pros on the floor in that game. The Tennessee /Gonzaga game is a good one, too). The Knicks have a guaranteed no loss night, as they aren’t playing. UFC pops off with Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva and Matt Hughes vs. Georges St. Pierre (I got Silva and St. Pierre to win). Then the Giants have a monster game tonight against the New England Patriots. Lotta stuff going on, and I should be motivated to write an article. I’m also hungover and blunted, so I don’t feel like writing right now. I'm going to make this one short and sweet (not long and salty, like your sister, mom, girlfriend, or wife likes it). You could call this my “lead-pipe lock” this week:

Giants win 31-28…Eli plays well in the balmy New Jersey weather. The defense will blitz early and often, and get big plays early with interceptions (31 points mean the Giants D will have to get at least 14 points off of turnovers). Look for the Giants to get 5 or 6 sacks against a depleted offensive line. The Giants have what I like to call the “Zach Randolph Defense”. Six or more sacks equal a win. Sacks of herb, sacks of burgers, sacks of QBs, or a sack of Crown Royal riding shotgun mean the night is going well. Look for Steve Smith to have a big game for the Giants. Kawika Mitchell might cement himself as a front runner for the Giants defensive M.V.P. with a big game, too. Eli will go to his third and fourth options without making a mistake, but ends up 16-29, 211, 2 TD, 1 int, and 4 whatthefuckwasthat fumbles (I should have a “Eli Fumble the Snap” pool. I guess that it first happens around 6:24 in the second quarter). LET’S GO GIANTS!!!