My Olympics Summary

I wrote an article saying that I didn't care about the Olympics, except for the USA Hoops. I have since been mesmorized by some of the happenings...let's recap:

1. Michael Phelps

This dude is ridiculous...he's the most dominant athlete EVER in the Olympics for one reason...there ain't no pools in the hood. The same thing applied to golf and tennis, and now the best golfer is Black (kinda) and the best Women's tennis players are Black (definitely). All you got to do is introduce the sport to tha hood, and it's over.

2. Women's Sports

Women's sports in the Olympics are like a crappy house party...too many foriegners, ugly broads, and short, young, girls who have crappy I.D.'s, but you say, "what the hell", and try to bang one of them out anyways (WHAAA?!?). Those young girls I'm talking about are the gymnasts, who can't be younger than 16 in order to compete (good rule to have when dating, but may not hold up in court). It turns out China is probably cheating and allowing girls younger than 16 to compete. They won the women's team gymnastics event, and some of those girls looked so young that they look like they had just a dirt infield, without a nappy dugout, if you know what I mean (and, ladies...if you don't know what I mean, get that shit fixed...it ain't cool to have too much grass on tha field). This may be something that you would let your local massage parlor slide with, but it's not cool when it cost the U.S. of A. a gold medal.

3. Nigeria and their abbreviation

I have been watching Soccer and caught Nigeria play a couple of times. They beat the U.S. Men to knock them out of medal contention. The problem I have is with NBC and how they abbreviate Nigeria in the upper left part of the screen: NGR. Now, I may not be the best grammeretician but NGR said out loud is "Nigger". Of course, all the players on Nigeria are black. Coincidence? I think not... And remember that there was never a black person on Friends (in the one episode I watched). I think that NBC needs to change the abbreviation before I organize a Million Man March/Jenkins Family Reunion at 30 Rock...



I know this has nothing to do with the real Olympics...but you wonder why we run from the cops...

Dream Team

The Dream Team played in Vegas yesterday, and put on a show, routing the Canadians by fitty. The team is the best team since the original version, and will destroy the world in Beijing. They actually bring up a very good question, though. Would I care about the Olympics if there wasn't a Dream Team going there? No. Do I care about one-legged sprinters trying to make it to Beijing, or sick passes from J-Kidd? J-Kidd. Do I care if Iraq sends athletes to the Olympics, or Kobe lighting up some third-world country for 70? Kobe. Do I care about a 41 year-old American swimmer who is defying all odds to go for gold, or LeBron dunking so hard on a Chinaman that they change the name of General Tso's Chicken to Kentucky Fried Chicken? Of course, KFC. So those are the story lines I care about, other than watching gymnastics to figure out with Eastern Bloc ho's are flexible enough to handle my pommel horse (and when they light the flame with that giant joint).