Laredo's Hottest Broads Walking the FACE OF THE EARTH, THAT I CAN SEARCH FOR THRU GOOGLE!!!!

I think the writer strike has affected my production. It’s not that I sympathize with these people, and I don’t sympathize with the studios (I do watch movies I don’t pay for…would you rather me be at home talking at the movie loudly, or at a theatre talking at the movie loudly?). It’s the holiday season, and I just want to see everybody get along. I know that the writers aren’t getting their fair cut. There needs to be compromise, or else you will get scabs crossing the picket line, like me. I will write for these TV shows for the same money, no problem. They’ll be better off because of it, too. I will write scenes in Desperate Housewives where a good looking black dude (me) moves on to the block, and causes a ruckus because he gets Eva Longoria pregnant (Desperate Housewives will be considered reality TV, because this good looking brotha (me) will really get Longoria pregnant). This will lead to an episode of Cheaters where Tony Parker suspects his wife of cheating (because of the Escalade-sized condoms in his trash can, and stolen car), only to find that he doesn’t want to bring it to the good looking black guy (me) who is banging out his wife. Must see TV, bitches! Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent…really I want to talk about a contingency plan for the networks if they can’t get good, new programming on the tube. Just assemble five of the hottest honeys, put ‘em in a house with secret cameras, liquor, and plenty of aspirin labeled containers filled with date rape drugs and ecstasy, and call it a day. Who would be the five honeys? That’s what this article is about…THE FIVE HOTTEST WOMEN LIVING NOW!!!!!! (not named Jessica Alba)

I want to do this right. It’s not going to be one through five. I’m just naming five straight up. This is a list of the five hottest girls. In my book, they are all 10 out of 10’s. They are all tied for first. I couldn’t include Alba because she is the obvious. But let’s get started:

Michelle Wie (age 18):

Michelle Wie is like a gallon of milk. You buy it, but really, are you going to drink a gallon of milk before it goes bad? (White people don’t answer). Her shelf life can be questioned. She’s a tall, athletic girl. That means that she will no longer be desirable around age 26 or 27 (she’ll be 6’1”, 170 by then). To top it off, she’s Asian. This is good or bad, depending on how you look at it. She’ll be content with going to Souplantation on special occasions, but she might run you over in your driveway one day. The one thing that Wie can produce, especially if you’re me, is a kid that will be athletic and smart. If I had a chance to “F” Michelle Wie, I would make sure that she swallows only half of my kids, the others will be put to good use (I can see myself now at the 2030 N.B.A. draft). I do think she is hot, and that’s all it takes to be on this list…

Megan Fox (age 21):

Otherwise known as “Mega Fox”, she may be hotter than Alba. She starred in one of the best movies ever (Transformers), and is one of the most stunning women whenever her picture is taken. I really don’t know much about her, other than the fact she was in Transformers, and I the fact I want to do her. Oh yeah, she is engaged to Brian Austin Green (the gay guy, who played himself on 90210). She has six tats (one of the aforementioned homo) which mean she is a freak, in guy language. I should change the name of this article from “Five Hottest Broads” to “Why Brian Austin Green should wear a bulletproof vest”.

Nautica Thorn (age 23)

When I write about these broads, I talk about how I would bang ‘em, and how Michelle Wie would be drinking my kids, etc. The chance of this really happening is small with them. With Ms. Thorn, it is actually pretty good. I just need to come up with the dough. Nautica Thorn is my favorite internet actresses. She’s Asian, like Wie. But she isn’t one of those shifty, math-doing, traffic-fucking up Asians. She’s a put it in any hole, cum-burping, invite your friends Asian. The actual beauty of Nautica is that she is half Jap, a quarter Puerto Rican, and a quarter Hawaiian (which means not only can she hotwire a Honda, she can also cook a pig…which in Black families is a plus).

Vanessa Bryant (age 26)

I have no problem in saying I wanna be like Kobe. LeBron has this commercial where he’s says, “You don’t want to be LeBron James. You wanna be better than Lebron James.” DAAAAMN RIGHT, I wanna be Kobe. I wanna shoot everytime down the court. I want to borderline rape young white ho’s. I wanna have a wife who doesn’t care about either, and still stands by my side, as I keep on doing the same shit. In real life, I wish Vanessa to take out her frustrations of Kobe cheating on her, by cheating on him with me. Then I’ll call up Shaq to get sloppy seconds, and we’ll steal all of Kobe’s memorabilia. Vanessa, if you’re reading this and it turns you on (which it should), shoot me an email.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens (age 18)

I didn’t know who this chick was until tonight. I was looking for a cutting-edge hot chick to be fifth on this list, and I decided on Hannah Montana (I just erased the paragraph, and erased my hard drive). After looking for Hannah Montana pics, I came up on (lol) Vanessa Anne Hudgens. She isn’t in anything I have seen, but she’s hot. This little slut also has a naked pic that surfaced on the internet, which I’m going to post on this site. I think that the picture seals the deal for me. She’s dating some dude who’s smaller than my dick on a 20 degree day. Enjoy the pic:

NY Knicks Preeeeeeeeeview

Today is my preview of the Knicks. I will have predictions, updates, and random shit that goes through my head, as we enter the 2007-08 year.

I want to say that I am a huge Knicks fan and it's good to be a Knicks fan these days. We're entertaining and intriguing. Most Knicks fans are from the northeast. We ain't like Lakers fans, who can be from anywhere. We ain't like Bulls fans, who are just riding the dick of Michael Jordan. We are fans of a team hated everywhere, because of the name of the city written across their chest (just like the Giants and Rangers). We play in the best, most famous basketball arena in the world, and our coach has no problem calling your wife, mom, etc. a bitch. Pundits are picking the Knicks to finish out of the playoffs, just because they are haters. It's the Knicks against the World this year, and I'm going to savor every moment as the Knicks prove the haters wrong!

I don't like to breakdown the lineups, and bench, like Sports Illustrated does it. I like to break teams down, in basketball, by their components. Let's get crackin'

Backcourt: (Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, Nate Robinson, Fred Jones, Mardy Collins)

The backcourt has talent, but it isn't the cohesive type of talent that some other backcourts have (ex. Billups, Hamilton). The reason is because all of these guys are isolation experts. Nate Robinson looks like an And 1 mixtape. So does J.C. If Marbury is out at the club, he will isolate bitches into his SUV. Not a bad unit, but all these guys have had the label of "needing to grow up". Steph and J.C. start, but look for Fred Jones to start if J.C. can't find his offense (J.C. can be the microwave option).

Three's (Quentin Richardson, Jared Jeffries, Renaldo Balkman, Wilson Chandler)

This is a good rebounding group. The only problem is the Q is always injured. If Q is injured, then the other three get their weaknesses exposed with extended minutes (even though Chandler is going to make the other three expendble within the next two years). Q stay healthy, and lay off the ribs and cookies.

Post and Baseline D (Eddy Curry, Zach Randolph, David Lee, Randolph Morris, Jerome James)

In the offensive post, there is no other team with better options in the league. Curry and Z-Bo are going to create a bunch of mismatch issues. On D, they are going to have issues. Their biggest issue will be getting back on defense. David Lee is going to have another big year, off the bench (if he sticks around...I smell Ron Artest). Oh yeah, if I see Jerome James in a game, at all, I will drive to New York and set a Jerome James Trap. What's a Jerome James Trap? I'll put a plate of food and a MGD on a table, wait for him to skip practice to consume these items, then I'll wait for him to take his nap, and then cut his legs off. He doesn't need 'em, and doesn't use 'em.

Half court Offense

The Knicks should excel in the half court, and last time I checked the best half court teams win championships. Defense is the issue.

Rebounding

The Knicks will outrebound everybody, period. Curry may not be a great rebounder, but Randolph is good, and Lee and Q-Rich are exceptional at boarding. I just named two guys who had 10 plus a game last year. Not worried about rebounding.

Taking care of the rock

The Knicks will out-turnover everybody period. Z-Bo is a black hole, and any pass from him may be in the first row. Same for Curry. Marbury, Crawford, and Nate may have fancy handles, but they don't make the best decisions. If they want to finish games, they will need to improve here.

Overall Prediction: 45-37

They will suprise people and get a 5 through 7 seed. They will then go to the playoffs where they will push somebody to the limit in the first round. I will weigh in with some opening night stuff later.

Now a little trivia:

What did the Knicks offer the Lakers for Kobe Bryant?

A: a left, and a right...niggawhuuut!?!?!?! GO NY, GO NY GO!!!!!!!

Halloween Review

I haven't written in a couple days. It's probably for a couple reasons: (1) the sports world is in it's slowest days right now, and (2) Halloween = Jail. How can you have a holiday where people get drunk, or have a sugar rush off candy, and females ages 15 through infinity dress like hookers? I thought is was best to lay low when I saw a gang of 15 year olds dressed like hookers/referees, and hookers/hookers. I didn't want to write, and thought that people would think bad things of me once I wrote 'em. But I did go out, and saw some of the most f'd up costumes. But there were three that really stood out that had no thought put into them whatsoever. I call these the "I worked at this place, and still have the uniform" costumes.

The first was a girl dressed as a Hooters' waitress. I think she was a Hooters' waitress at some other time of her life. She looked like the Hooters' owl to tell you the truth. She had the whole get-up (including the stains from bleu cheese dressing spilled on her shorts...well, we'll call it "bleu cheese dressing"). She must have put on weight after working at Hooters, because she had all the signs of an out of work Hooters' waitress, too (including the stains on her shirt from the wing sauce after spilling them down her throat...well, we'll call it "wing sauce"). To top it off, I seen her at a bar. I put an order in with her. She thought it was a pickup line, until I yelled at her for not bringing my wings out in a timely manner, and I asked to see her manager. Shitty costume, and shitty service.

Next is a dude dressing up as a ho. This is unacceptable. I drink in dark places. If I look on the dance floor and see a skirt and fake tities. I am going to (1) try to see "what's good", and (2) put an order in for 50 breaded, hot wings. Either way, I'm going to end up pissed off. Oh yeah, not to mention it is gay. How does this fit into the "I worked at this place, and still have the uniform" catagory. Well, I assume these guys used to work at a place where they took it up the ass (like Bally's Total Fitness, or something).

Finally, there is the black dude who decides to be the prisoner. He wears an orange penitentary suit/shirt and thinks that this is a funny costume (this might be the only one that doesn't fit into the "I worked at this place, and still have the uniform" category...not). Now I have to write the rules for what black dudes can wear on Halloween:

1. Don't wear anything that can implicate you later. So, I go out and wear my prison costume...fight breaks out in the bar, and police round up everybody. They put me in a lineup and who do you think is the brotha they're gonna pick out? Even worse: You goto a house party, and not all the girls are "of age" and the party host is serving liquor (a.k.a. you're drinking beer and the ladies are drinking a concoction known as "Bitch, you got knocked da fuck out!!!"). So you gotta run into the shrubs, or woods. The cops will see you right away. Or go as a serial killer with blood on your shirt. Don't blame anybody but yourself when you get brought in for questioning on a murder, from 1992.

2. Only costumes that include a blunt object are permissable. I don't dress up on Halloween often, but when I do go this rule is number one. Let me rundown what I wore throuout the years: 2006 Barry Bonds (bat), 2004 Tiger Woods (golf club), 2002 Tiger Woods (golf club), 1999 O.J. Simpson (shank), you get the idea. This is the one day out of the year where we are allowed to carry weapons in the streets. After all, they're just "props". An officer can put you in jail for walking down the street with a baseball bat on most days, but not on Halloween. If shit pops off, then you have the ability to break the fight up with a couple of swings.

3. Just go as yourself, it's equally as scary. I went out and there were people dressed up like the grimreapper who walked to the other side of the street when they saw me coming. I saw a Hooters' waitress walking down the street, and she crossed, and didn't even take my order.

That's it for the "I worked at this place, and still have the uniform" costumes. I hope everybody had a good Halloween...Knicks' Day tomorrow, where I preview the Knicks season, and I give my predicitions to who gets arrested first, for what. ONE!

Laredo's Kerry Collins Edition Monday QB (yes, I have been drinking) - GFY List

This article is dedicated to Kerry Collins, my fourth favorite QB of all-time (Simms, Hostetler, Eli, KC5). If it weren't for Kerry, I wouldn't have thought it was acceptable to write, drunk, using racial slurs. I've dropped n-bombs, made fun of Asians, exploited Mexicans through stereotypes, etc. The thing is, is that I'm a realist, and some people may not say the things that are on their minds, but guys like Kerry Collins and I do. This GFY list is going to be dedicated to the numerous analysts how have spewed shit out of their mouths this week.

First on the chopping block, A-Rod Haters...

How do you blame A-Rod for doing what he is doing? He has the ability to make more money by opting out of his contract. On Monday, I'm watching Sportcenter, and their headline is "The Greediest Player Ever". WTF?!?! If I could make more money, I would, and so would everybody else. The other thing that is funny is FOX announced that A-Rod was a free agent right before the ninth inning in the World Series clincher. The story really broke before the game and they waited, and made A-Rod look bad (even though, if I'm A-Rod I don't mind that move...I would try to get FOX to C.G.I. my nuts on the screen, as the Red Sox celebrate their championship). People are idiots...who are we to decide what A-Rod does? Big GFY to A-Rod Haters.

(BTW, I came up on this article on ESPN.com, and I'm appalled by the fact that they pay people to write absolute crap. I'm starting a petition.)

Next, Tony Romo...

I will write this directly to Tony...

Tony,

Wipe that shit-eating grin off of your face. I didn't mind you when you were a backup QB. I started to get pissed when you were linked to Jessica Simpson. Now you sign a extension for 31 million, guaranteed. I officially hate you. You're single, and the rich QB of the Cowboys. Hook a brotha, up (me, not T.O.). If you win a Super Bowl, and become part of the Holy Trinity of QB's (Farve, Manning, Brady), I'll be pissed. I'm a little jealous, but if you get stuck up and robbed, you asked for it...GFY!!!!

Now that's off my chest, next is Bill Belichick haters....

This week, the Pats beat the Redskins 52-7. People then complained that it was bad sportsmanship, etc. Then they lamented that Bill Belichick is a cheater. It's amazing...I compare Bill Belichick to a cool George W. Bush. You talk shit about him. Then you realize he has the best weapons, but unlike Bush, he uses them to their full extent, and wins wars. Belichek is pissed, and so is his team. The funny thing is, how do you complain about a team running up the score? There are two simple ways to combat it. Cheap shot the pretty boy QB (it will only cost you 15 yards), or don't let the score get out of control (show some heart). If it was 38-0 and I see the other team trying to pass the ball, the next play is an all-out blitz. I would send all 15 guys (I would have four extra guys blitzing from the sidelines). Then I would make all the beer in the stadium free, and tell the fans where the Pats team bus is. Bottom line is people call the Pats cheaters and creeps, only because idiots on ESPN tell them to. Bill Belichick haters......................................................................GFY!!!!!!!!!!

Next, Snitches!

No, really, snitches. First, Mike Vick's boys snitch his ass out of playing football and millions. Then O.J.'s henchmen are turning on the Juice. WTFWTFWTF?!?!? These people single handedly fucked up Madden '09, and any hope for a new "Naked Gun" movie. What's next?!?!? Snitching on Santa Claus because the North Pole is a sweat shop?!?!? GEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFYYYYYYYYYYYY, SNITCH ASS SNITCHES!!!!

(if O.J. is reading this...there is this guy in Dallas who just got 31 million dollars...we'll call him Rony Tomo...I think that he has memoribilia and white bitches at his house...I'll meet you there).

NY Sports Check - 10/25

New week, same shit. It's almost like the sports world is under a dark spell cast by the Red Sox Nation. We gotta watch them beat the inferior Rockies, amidst the crappy announcing of Tim McCarver. Once they win it will be all over and we can concentrate on the NFL, and hot stove baseball. Whatever...the good thing about being a NY sports fan is that there is always something to talk about. So without further hesistation, NY Sports Check:

1. New York Giants

Why the Giants are number one: The Giants are dominating, and guess what? They have the best shot at winning a championship, out of all the NY teams, at this moment. The reason? Not the improved play of Eli. Not the revamped offensive line. Not the three-headed running attack. And, not the big play capabilities of Plexiglass Buress. It is the defense, but not the talent (even though they are very talented). It's Steve Spagnuolo, the defensive coordinator. Let's be real, these are the Giants, and they play in North Jersey. Do they want a defensive coach named Johnnie Lynn, or Tim Lewis? NO!!!! The Giants should have a defensive coordinator who is a "Pisan". With a name like Spagnuolo, he is a shoe in to be the next Giant coach. He is lauded for his blitz schemes (he refers to them as "hits"). And he is knows how to get his players motivated. I asked Coach Spag on how he keeps his players motivated. He said, "I tell those moulies that they better play or then my cut, of their pay, will go from 10 points to 40 points, and if they don't like that they can go fuck themselves. Forgetaboutit. I'm just a capo right now, but one day I'll be boss of this organization. Coughlin is getting lazy, and we know how those micks like their liquor." Okay, so he didn't say that. But he is the reason why the Giants can win the NFC.

2. New York Yankees

Why the Yanks are number two: The ownership is changing, and for the worse. I hope people realize that George Steinbrenner has no control on what is going on with the Yankees. If he did, then Joe Torre would still be around. He might have some medical condition (like Alzheimer's), and is being used like a pawn by the real controlling owners. The Dolan's are also putting in a bid to buy the YES Network, which means they want the team eventually (Forbes values the Yankees at 1.5 billion, and the YES Network at 3.5 billion). If the Dolan's get control, Suzyn Waldman will file a sexual harrasment suit, and will win. That's how inept and unprofessional the sports side of the Dolan empire has been so far (anybody accused of sexually harrasing Suzyn Waldman should be castrated). Oh yeah, they're looking for a manager who will take the worst job in baseball, the replacement of Joe Torre. Ha!! I feel a lost decade on the horizon.

3. New York Jets

Why the Jets are number three: Because they are in the middle of a quarterback controversy. Pennington is good, but they know Pennington already. They should play Kellen Clemens at QB and tank the season. With a high draft pick, they can get a player who is a gamebreaker, and they have zero of those right now. This is a classic example of the downs a team experiences after a year where they had an easy schedule.

4. New York Knicks

A lot of publications are picking the Knicks to miss the playoffs. I think it's more of an attack on the character of Isaiah Thomas than an attack on the actual talent of the roster. This is a team that is hard to match-up with and they are all 25 through 28 years old (with some exceptions), and they're maturing to the point where they can win 8 to 10 more games this year. They play hard for Isaiah. Oh yeah, if David Stern takes action against Isaiah, he has to take action against Kobe Bryant. Bryant settled with a "rape" victim and it's not like he didn't have sex with that girl (ho). I hope the Knicks do their thing this year and prove everybody (except me) wrong.

5. The Hockey Teams

Why are they number five: Last week I suggest that the NHL melt the ice and have brothas shoot from the stands at the players, just to make the sport interesting. I know that this will never happen, but last time I checked, there were no metal detectors in NHL arenas.

6. New York Mets

Why they are number six: I know the Yanks are in trade talks with anybody, and everybody. We better be doing the same thing. We also need to hire Wally Backman to be on our coaching staff. A lot of what the Mets were missing last year, is instilled in Backman. He is a Mets great who should get more respect within the organization, and I think he could be a great first base coach.

7. New Jersey Nets

Why they are number seven: They have a great backcourt, and I like a couple of their young players. Their front line is definatly underrated as well. But, still, they're boring. Their stars are not likeable (except Richard Jefferson), and they play in a dead arena. This will be their best team since they went to the finals, but whodafuckcares.

That's it...Go GIANTS!!!!

Laredo Review of da Week: StumbleUpon

I've watched nothing but sports, and a couple of movies, this week. The sports were good...Game 7 of Indians, Rockies, the Giants destroying the Niners. There wasn't anything worth talking about though. The movies I watched were Stardust (a surprisingly good movie, that I will watch again, and again), and A Mighty Heart (movie about the widow of Daniel Pearl, and what she went through while they were looking for her husband...It's a brutal movie because 1.) you know that not only are they not going to find Daniel Pearl alive, but they are going to see that tape of him getting cut up, and 2.) they never built up the character of Daniel Pearl...I didn't like it).

So, I'm sitting here wondering what to write about. I never have writer's block because everyday I see something that makes me think. It makes me think about why it's there, how it came about, etc. I didn't see anything today, except for the evacuation of people in the Southern California Firestorm (I don't want to write about it until the fire is out...I truly feel bad for these families). I sat down and hit my "StumbleUpon" button until I thought of something to write about.

For those who don't know, StumbleUpon, is a add-on to the Mozilla Firefox browser that randomize sites when you press the "Stumble!" button. You pick out your catagories of interest, and it will pick a random site to take you to. I guess if you're on somebody's computer, and they have this button, you could tell a whole lot about who they are and what they are about. Let's see what I "Stumbled" on:

The first site I encountered that I found appalling is the site GroovyGroves.com. The site is like a YouTube for musicians. The appalling part is the fact that they have a "Stiptease" section where girls dance in their underwear, etc., to music. Some of these girls are not eighteen. I think that this clip speaks for itself:

Don't send the cops to my house, please

Some people will say that I'm just helping out this website by putting this video on my blog. Well they're right...the site isn't that appalling, but this video is kind of appalling. I think any site that asks girls to do a striptease down to their underwear is a good site. If the cops ask, I am really just trying to get R. Kelly to do an interview on LaredoSlider (once he see's the site is pedophile friendly...he'll feel safe about giving me a interview). Oh yeah, anybody who needs me can find me at the 18 and over club this weekend...I'll be the one with the wristband.

So i'll stumble more and I get to The Onion...the website of one of my favorite publications. I've always liked their content, but then I found this video:

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

I always said that white people can't use the words "nigger" or "nigga". Check 'dat...porno stars getting filled up by brothas can use those words. Check 'dat...any female who's getting filled up by me is free to use the n-word whenever they want. They can even bring KFC into bed with them, just to make fun of the stereotype that black people love chicken. I won't care, because you know a brothas gonna be hungry afterward. You will get thrown out of the crib, if you don't bring hot sauce and grape soda, though.

While we're on the subject of fried chicken and soda, check out the list of death row inmates, and their final meal requests. Most of the inmates want fried chicken, and who could blame them.

Finally, I stumbled on this one site that I thought was a joke. It wasn't:

Smell Me and. Com

WTF?!?! Are you serious? This is disgusting. Am I going to really want to have the smell of 'Chicken of the Sea' on my hands? These fools think that I'm going to be aroused by the smell of pussy? Usually after I'm done with it, it stinks and it makes these farting noises. They should put a whoopie cushion in every box, just for shits and giggles. What's going to be next? A fragrence of my shit, to remind women of the time I hit them with "The Shocker", and finished with a "Dirty Sanchez" or "Cleveland Steamer"? That'll get them hot. How about a bottle of my nut sweat. I would call it "Reminiscence of a Tea Bag".

So if you don't StumbleUpon, you're missing out. If you think I'm a perv, because these are the sites I see, you're probably right. I'm out like a broad who doesn't bring the hot sauce to bed...

Wouldya Rather?? LaredoS vs. Double B

Today, I’m doing a feature that I really wanted to do for a while. I’ve just been too lazy to do it. Today (and hopefully every Tuesday) is “Wouldya Rather” day. It’s a day where we ask important questions that have to do with current events, and some other ridiculousness. Today I ask the question, “Wouldya rather bang a 2002 Pam Anderson, or wouldya rather own a propane store in the middle of the Southern California Firestorm?”

The 2007 Firestorm in Southern California is for real. I saw special reports on Sunday, and took the fire for granted. Then I saw families evacuating and heading to Qualcomm Stadium, and took that for granted (with all the smoke, cars, and people handing out food I thought that Raiders fans were still tailgating after last week’s game). Then I woke up today and my nose was burning from breathing in the air (if I were president, I would have marijuana fields planted so if these fires happen again, they will make everybody high…and, they would forget about their shit burning down). Seriously, my heart goes out to anybody who has lost their way of living from these fires. And, if there are any ladies who want to meet up at the Qualcomm Stadium mass tailgate…email me.

Okay…today, I query the Double B for his take on the situation.

Double B: I would definitely choose the propane store. STD’s are bad, and propane is an easy sell.

(if ya don’t know, by now, Double B is Jewish)

Laredo: But, wouldn’t the store blow up?

Double B: It’s not going to blow up. Throw that shit under cement blocks and get a sprinkler system.

(if ya don’t know, by now, Double B is Jewish)

Okay…so he rather own a propane store.

Me on the other hand…I think that it’s important to think through decisions. This is what I call a “lose-lose” situation. You’re gonna get burned by both. In these situations, I realize why every President is a man. We have the uncanny ability to use two heads in a situation like this. So I’m going to ask my second head (Planters is his name, for those who want to know…he’s attached to nuts, and ladies should, and will, plant two lips on him whenever he comes around). Planters and my brain will now reason on what I rather do.

Laredo: Double B is right…people might need propane and insurance something every store owner should have.

Planters: Insurance? It’s like Forrest Gump says, “Insurance is like a box of condoms” …Bang out Pam, son!!!!!

Laredo: You may have a point. The question doesn’t indicate I have to go “raw dog”.

Planters: I wouldn’t hate on you if you did.

Laredo: I could also sell some pictures to the tabloids, of me and Pam banging. One will be of my dick, with a headline “Loch Ness Monster EXISTS!” The other would be “Brotha learned how to train Loch Ness Monster…Monster bangs out Pam Anderson.”

Planters: Now your talking…and don’t forget brothas love white blonds, with huge tits…and

Planters and Laredo (in unison): Pam Anderson is a white blond, with huge tits!!!

So, I rather bang Pam Anderson…2002 or 2007 (or 2032). Anybody with an opinion on what they would rather do should hit the comments tab. Remember, you gotta pick on or they other. I’m out like Pam Anderson after Planters busts his cashews…peace…