What to watch this weekend...Laredo Style...

Okay, I'm drunk. It's officially my birthday, and I'm bloggin'. I said that I was gonna post what to watch this weekend, and I'll make it short and sweet. This is what to watch:

Telemundo around midday - There are always guaratnteed thick ass bithces around this time of the day on Telemundo...I'm staying at my buddies house in S.D., and his mother-in-law speaks only Spanish. We watch Telemundo all day. Guess who walks around with a stiffy all day? Yeah...

ABC at 3:30 - Regional action includes Michiagan State at Ohio, and Mizzou at Texas Tech...CBS at 3:30; Florida at Kentucky...NBC USC at Notre Dsme...Watch Michigan State vs. Ohio. There could be an upset in that game. Texas Tech might have Bobby Knight at the game. That could mean somebody gets choked in the consession area...if that happens, then Mizzou vs TT is the game of the year. Florida at Kentucky is cool because you can feel the hate from the crowd. Everybody in attendance used the "N" word at one point in their life and they're all rooting for "N" word players (i can say that, you can't)...best matchup...Tebow is the best college football player since Reggie "Fuck My Fantasy Team Over" Bush...Speaking of USC, they're not 14th in the nation (they are closer to #1, when healthy)...they will run over ND, and make Touchdown Jesus run to Rite-Aid for some kneepads (yes, I am drunk, and I am on JDate.com...we don't believe in Touchdown Jesus)

Honorable Mention: Kansas at Colorado, 5:30 ESPM

My ex is from Kansas, but she lived in Colorado for a couple of years. I hope that this game ends up in a tie. After all the players are blown up by a "dirty bomb". Sorry.

Indians at Red Sox, Game Six, FOX 8:00

The Indians are historic choke artists. The Red Sox are historic choke artists. They should have Tim McCarver draw my dick on the screen (if he has a marker big enough), and CGI it in Jessica Alba's mouth, because netiher of these teams are playing well enough to win this series and they're gonna choke (like Jessica Alba on Laredo's Dillznick...yes, I had 6 Guinnesses and 3 car bombs). The Rockies play such textbook baseball, and they are the only team left that makes all the plays defensively. They should win the championship this year. I hope we see a game seven. It will be the most dramatic game of the baseball season this year.

Auburn at LSU, 9, EPS f'n N

The most entertaining event of the day pits 90 thousand drunk fans, and a sick team, against the best coach in college football, and a team with heart. Yes, Tommy Tubberville is the best, and his team is not an underdog in this game. They are even money, and confident. This game gets the 'Playboy Litmus Test'. I was reading the "Girls of the SEC" issue and Auburn is right there with LSU. Final minute victory for Auburn...but if I were with either (or both) girls from the Playboy issue, I would bust in 2.8 seconds...Auburn 69 1/2, LSU 69

SUNDAY,SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!

Watching, the NFL, of course. I'll address these games tomorrow. But we could have a game seven in the ALCS. If I'm coherent this weekend, I may host a show on blogtalkradio.com at 9 am...it's scheduled, but we'll see...

GO GIANTS!!!
PHUCK PHILLY!!!