The Night in Sports 6/12/07

This happens to be one of the best nights you could hope for on a Tuesday night...During the day, the only thing that really happened was Pacman Jones dropped his appeal (You know, stripclub, money coming from ceiling, people stealing it, people getting shot)... When I think of the follies of Pacman Jones, I think that he shouldn't be suspended the whole year...Let's look at the three other cases the NFL has to handle this year... One, Chris Henry, drinking with underage girls in a hotel room, suspended 8 games...Two, Michael Vick, dog fighting, not suspended yet...Three, Tank Johnson, has a small arsenal in his house, goes to jail, suspended 8 games...Pacman? He basically tried to entertain onlookers with a surreal display of dollars coming from the heavens, while professional dancers did their tribal dances, in the moonlight of Las Vegas...a little altercation ensued...and bam, the whole year?!?!? I'm all for cleaning up sports, but not when (1) The suspension doesn't fit the crime and (2) when one man takes the fall for everybody else... Basically, if those ho's and their promoters wanted the money they shoulda went to Pacman's room, and asked him for the $81,000...Yes, the promoters would have a cap in 'dey ass, and the ho's would be all about $200, for the next hour, richer, but they got greedy and tried to steal from Pacman!! Pacman probably got suspended, because he was supposed to see Mr. Goodell, and went to a strip club the night before, but c'mon, can't you hook a brother up with 8 game suspension?!?!

Now that Pacman is off the keyboard (thank you, Pacman, for your proper grammar, and not "setting up shop" on my block), Justin Verlander has to get props for his no-no...this fool was throwing 101 up to the last batter...Word on the street is that Gary Sheffield was told by management to tell Verlander to throw the No-No...For you who don't know, Sheff is the only black player who can be told what to do, and tells everybody what to think, and do...In part, he is right...I asked a black guy to shut the f up in a movie theater, he got louder, at me (suprisingly)...I told a Latino guy in the same theater to be quiet, and that mother hit me in the head with a baseball bat, and took my wallet...i know what guy i would sign, i would rather have a guy who can hit and steal...anyways , the Detroit Tigers seemed to be ready for another series run...as long as they can find all these black guys sitting at home who are better than the Latinos in the MLB, AAA, AA, A, etc.

(This brings me to the point I think Sheff was trying to make...The black people in baseball now, just don't speak English...scientifically, who fits the prototype black person: Tiger Woods or Alfonso Soriano??? If you have to be from the U.S.A. to be black, then sorry white people, Steve Nash and Dirk aren't yours...there are officially zero white people in the NBA)


Who's the black guy? Well, black guys like cars, gold and platinum, and white girls...that might be Tiger's saving grace.



Finally, LeBron's run seems to be over...Duncan is putting the finishing touches on a Spurs-esque, late 90s victory...(Tony Parker just nailed a three, and then they showed Eva Longoria...I think that ABC is going to start a reality series of their newlywed summer...Tim Duncan will show up to the house, and instead of Tony saying "Holy Shit, the best big man in the last 15 years is in my house", he'll say, "Gotta bang out my piece of ass wife, and wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills...Oui Oui!" I'll then get in my car, and try to drive to France, to f-up Tony Parker! (How did I stay away from the Cleveland Steamer joke?)) The problem for the NBA is that the best teams, are too good at defense...It's almost unbearable to watch...The court needs to get bigger (which is almost impossible, due to the configurations of NBA arenas), but these teams didn't get over a hundered points, each, in any game so far, that isn't a fun thing to watch...and the Finals haven't been competative...there needs to be changes...David Stern needs to realize that the short term money isn't worth it...he needs to establish a loyal fan base, by making the games start earlier, and making the season and playoffs shorter (in terms of days, not games)...and the salary cap needs to be revised to increase player movement, and to allow teams to keep their stars...I can't believe that the Suns might trade Shawn Marion, just so they can make a profit next year, and not get shafted by the luxury tax...and if the commish wants Kobe on the Knicks, he needs to step in and make it happen (pleeeeeeeeeze, i'll crawl back to NY for him... )

I'm out like Eva Longoria, after she realized Tony Parker hit her off with a cleveland steamer....