You Gottabefuckinkiddin Me! How to Fix the Mets

Mets lost...Giants still yet to play. I'm distraught. Tom Glavine gave the Mets zero chance to win today, and this will be the last day that he wears the orange and blue (he was throwing his fastball at 81 and his change up at 74, both with no movement. He was afraid to throw strikes). Carlos Delgado broke his wrist, and I hope that he goes back to using HGH (doesn't he seem really skinny compared to last year?). Paul Lo Duca is a good leader, but good leaders hit more than .280. The rest of the team needs an attitude adjustment, but the last three I mentioned shouldn't be in the plans for 2008.

Position by position I break down what should happen with the Mets

Catcher

Resign Castro, and don't sign Lo Duca (but that seems to be the plan anyways)

First Base

Get Delgado back on HGH, or trade him for somebody who takes their career seriously

Second Base

Keep Luis Castillo

Shortstop

Keep Jose Reyes

Third Base

Keep Wright, but if he decides he wants to be in the bottom five in all of baseball, in fielding percentage, he should consider first base. The last two gold glove winners at first base were natural third basemen who had the same problems Wright had (Texiera, Pulujos)

Outfield

Beltran was the teams M.V.P. Alou was good, and so was Green. Gotta consider resigning Alou, but Green has to walk. We got youngsters that need to play.

Pitching

Shoot Glavine
Keep Pedro, El Duque, Oliver Perez, and Maine
let Humber and Pelfrey develop (see if they can help in the bullpen)
and SIGN BARTOLO COLON!!!!

we need a big time starter, and I don't care how fat he is...Colon needs to be signed.

Wagner can't pitch as many innings anymore, so we also need another serviceable short guy, that can finish games (not necessarily save games).

Keep Willie and the coaching staff. Defense and pitching were the problem, and we didn't have enough talent in these areas (we were in the bottom half of the National League in each catagory...seventh in E.R.A., ninth in fielding). Talk to David Wright about moving to first, and see if getting Eric Chavez (6 staight gold gloves) is possible. Bartolo Colon is a strikeout guy, and a established starter. We get Duaner Sanchez back, so that should help. Be aggressive, Omar!!! It's not my money, and it ain't yours, so spend it!! Gagne, Dotel, Benitez...sign them all... it couldn't hurt. Spend the money of those rich owners. No salary cap, and we're in New Fuckin' York!!!! I'm just fuming right now...in a month or two, I'll talk about the free agents I do want and put em in a list...this is just the worst season in Mets history, and I have to vent (it's amazing that this was worse than '88, a year that I never want to think about. At least I didn't cry after today's loss).