Fine! I'll post a Double B article...

It's Monday, and I'm restless. So close to the big game, and I don't want to write about the game until my Friday article where I predict the outcome of the game. I can't watch TV this week, but if the Double B was writing and creating these shows, I would probably watch. Oh yeah...***WARNING*** The Double B is Jewish. Therefore, all these shows will be shown on public television. Everybody should be able to see it, besides, cable is too expensive.

Sometimes I feel I’m the only person that doesn’t care about the writer’s strike. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy TV just as much as the next person, but it’s all terrible. I’ve been more entertained this year than last year. I’m hoping this strike will start killing off terrible shows. I can’t count how many times I’ve see an advertisement for a show I’ve never new existed. Then I find out it’s been on the air four years! (Median, Numbers, Law and Order: Five, etc..) Give me more game shows. I want to win money while I watch TV. Start showing programs we don’t have in the U.S. The UK shows some crazy stuff.

Before Hollywood does something drastic and resolves the strike, I made a list of moneymaking shows that need to be made. Unfortunately, I had high hopes for American Gladiators, but right now it’s kind of gay. And I don’t mean “gay” in the stupid way, I mean gay. The show can still be fixed, but I’ll let NBC figure that out. Here are my ideas.

1. The Miami Heat desperately needs Shaq to retire. He’s due to make $20 million a year for standing under the basket accumulating three-second calls. I suggest the Heat trade him to Spike, Comedy Central, or ABC, and give him his own show. The man has charisma, charm, and wit. Which are three things Jimmy Kimmel is lacking. Imagine the possibilities. Penny Hardaway can be the sidekick that can’t get off the couch because his knees are fucked. Marv Albert will be the in-studio announcer and sexually harass every female audience member - I smell 19 seasons. In case you forgot how funny Shaq is, here’s a link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWqPnEGzfK8&feature=related

2. New York Knicks: All Access. I’m not sure I need to write anything. I have a few ideas of what happens behind the scenes. Isiah Thomas collects his pimp money every Monday and Friday. Eddy Curry eats about 20 Blimpie subs and gets another stretch mark on his body. Instead of hitting the gym and losing weight, he gets another tattoo to hide it. This will be the emotional segment. Starbury will bang interns while endorsing cheap shoes. David Lee will go to Synagogue. And Nate Robinson will take target practice on local thugs every Tuesday and Sunday.

3. Terrance and Philip. Hire scab writers to create this cartoon that should have been made seven years ago.

4. Chuck Norris attempting to act out his myths.

5. Girls Gone Wild Partially Nude Show. Don’t get me wrong it will suck not having full nudity, but Spike TV needs to start showing more T & A. It’s also never gets old seeing drunk college girls making mistake after mistake for a shirt.

6. Prank Phone Calls. Buy a few ounces of pot and booze, find some teenagers skate boarding, and give them a phone and the Yellow Book. 1 out of 10 calls will be hilarious.

7. Lastly, a show called Fights. The show will show all kind of fights. Fist, dog, knife, gang, verbal, and divorce are just the beginning.